Fixing yourself can feel like a full-time job. 

Trying to do it all. Trying to be perfect. We’re all trying to improve ourselves and to become the best version of ourselves. That’s great! 

But does it have to be so complicated and exhausting? 

I get tired of trying to be perfect and to do everything right. 

Can’t we just accept and choose to love the messy part of ourselves instead? The not-so-perfect part? Can’t we accept them as part of ourselves and feel loved instead of shame and guilt? 

Wouldn’t that feel better?

Self-love isn’t supposed to be about fixing the broken parts but more about accepting and embracing them as our own.

Loving ourselves should never be conditional. 

Conditional on our appearance. 

Conditional on whether you can follow another unsustainable diet or not. 

Conditional on what we can accomplish. 

Conditional on what people think of us?

Conditional on being able to do everything right as a mother.

Self-love should never be conditional. We should learn to love the great, but also the messy part of ourselves. 

But that’s not what we do. 

We dig deep, trying to get to the bottom of the problem. 

What do I still need to fix about myself? 

What’s different about me compared to other people? 

We try countless programs, countless diets, countless new methods. 

We’re trying to fit in. We’re trying to be perfect. 

I am done with the pressure of perfection. 

I am done feeling guilty about not meeting an impossible standard. 

I’m now resigning as a perfectionist. 

I want to love myself. I don’t need any fixing. I just want to be me and love myself for it. 

Is it too much to ask?

It took me a while to realize that it was not myself that I hated. It was the pressure.

The pressure of perfectionism, the exhaustion of trying to do it all, trying to achieve and maintain the perfect body, the perfect routine, being the perfect wife, the perfect mom, the perfect friend, maintaining all of those appearances. 

You’ll soon realize that here, we don’t do fixing. Because you don’t need to be fixed. You might need some help, you might need guidance, you probably need a lot of love, but there’s nothing to fix about you. 

If you had stumbled upon this article thinking:

• I’ll love myself after I’ve lost 30 pounds.
• I’ll wear that swimsuit once I’ve flattened my stomach.
• I’ll take pictures of myself when I’m “back to normal again.”
• I’ll be confident once I can fit into these old jeans.
• I’ll stop hiding once I tone up and stop being bloated all the time.

If you were thinking these before, come here and listen to me closely.

You won’t suddenly start loving yourself and your body after those things happened.

You don’t need to reach any kind of target to love yourself. 

It’s hard. 

I know. 

I’ve been there.

But you have to understand that this is not a “this” or “that” kind of situation. You can love your body and still want to improve it. You can love yourself and still actively work on improving your life. 

You don’t have to choose; you can do both. 

But first, we have to release that pressure of perfectionism and start accepting and loving ourselves the way we are.

Body acceptance takes work and doesn’t happen overnight. But it’s something that we need to work on to feel good about ourselves. Otherwise, it won’t matter how much weight you lose, how many goals you can accomplish, or how impressive you can sound to others.

You’ll never be satisfied, and you’ll never love yourself. 

Trust me, I’ve been there. 

I’ve tried to love myself by reaching targets, working at shiny goals, and achieving big things. 

Did it work? 

No. 

I still felt bad about myself and still felt overwhelmed. It’s when I chose to love myself and accept the messy parts that I truly started loving myself. 

Let me give you one tip that helped me be more confident in my body and love myself more. 

Before I tell you what it is, I want you to keep an open mind and to truly hear me out! 

Before going to bed tonight, I want you to spend five minutes in front of the mirror, naked, looking at yourself. 

If your first thought was to cringe after you’ve read that line, then you need to do it. You will spend five minutes in front of that mirror, and I want you to find 5 things that you like about your body. 

Only five! 

That should be easy, right? If it sounds challenging already, then it’s a clear sign that you need to try it out. Every night moving forward, you will go in front of that mirror. You will take your clothes off, and you will stand there. 

Look at yourself from a place of love and understanding. See your body, but also remember what you have gone through and what your body has lived through. 

Find five things that you like about your body. Try to find new things every night and not just repeat the same ones over and over again.

It will become easier. You’ll find more things to say and to love about your body and yourself.  You’ll become more confident standing there, and you’ll actually start feeling good about yourself. 

Isn’t that the ultimate goal that you have been working on for so many years?

All of those diets, all of those programs, the main goal was always for you to feel good about yourself, wasn’t it? But you tried to fix a self-love problem by dieting and exercising.

You thought you wanted to lose 30lbs, but maybe what you needed the most was being able to walk past a mirror without glancing away, without feeling ashamed or guilty. 

No amount of dieting and exercising can fix a self-love problem. You’ll just find something else to fix, then something else again, and you’ll never get to feel the love. 

Why don’t we do it differently now? 

Let’s focus on loving ourselves instead of trying to fix it. Take a few minutes and close your eyes. Picture a day in your life when you would feel confident in your body. A day when you would love yourself, a day on which you would feel proud of what you have done. 

Wouldn’t that feel amazing?

It will feel amazing. Because you are not a problem that needs fixing, you are a person who needs care and love.